Giving Up
by OKFan
Summary: One Shot. Kaoru is jealous of Haruhi and her growing friendship with Hikaru. R and R, thank you.


Hey there, this is my first Ouran fan fiction! Hopefully it isn't too awful. It's just a one-shot, so don't expect another chapter or a sequel.

Takes place sometime during chapter 51 in volume 11.

Warnings: Homosexual incest love making, in short, Hitachiincest. Also, there are some spoilers and angst.

Disclaimer: I do not own nor do I make profit from Ouran High School Host Club or any of it characters.

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Giving Up

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The day seemed to drag on and on for Kaoru. Usually, he loved the days he spent at Ouran academy. He loved spending time with his brother and making fun of the lord. But today he was more on edge than usual. He sighed at his own internal irritation at the world. Hikaru normally picked up on his disinterest in things, and Hikaru would normally pick up on Kaoru's sour mood, but not today.

All day, Hikaru had been talking with Haruhi. Kaoru almost regretted ever trying to help broaden his brother's horizons. He almost regretted setting him and Haruhi up on that date. However, he couldn't fully regret it, he enjoyed seeing the smile Haruhi put on Hikaru's face, and liked that Hikaru seemed to have an easier time with controlling his emotions. He didn't like how close the two were getting, and he didn't like that it wasn't himself putting that smile there. All in all, his feelings were very hypocritical of each other.

As their customers arrived he put on his happy face and entertained them with Hikaru in the "Brotherly Love" act. They swayed and they cuddled, eliciting little squeals of glee from the girls. As his brother laughed and played, he played along; silently hoping that Hikaru wouldn't notice his distress and he could peacefully sleep it off tonight.

Unfortunately, things don't always go that well in their world. The day ended and the twins headed home, waving casually to the customers and the other club members. Kaoru suppressed a mournful look as Hikaru clung to Haruhi in sort of good-bye. Not even the antics of Tamaki and his "Unhand my daughter!" could lighten his mood.

During the ride home he listened as Hikaru went on about Haruhi and some other trivial matters that had happened that day. Though, Kaoru had no need to hear about them, he was there after all, he was always there with Hikaru, but he still listened and gave his responses, trying desperately to hide his increasing grief from his brother's eyes.

Kaoru sighed as he lay on his bed, the day had come to an end and his mood had yet to lighten. He only hoped that Hikaru would chose to stay in his own bed tonight, that way he could spend the night getting his mind set straight. His silent wish went unanswered as his older brother came into the room, a towel hanging loosely around his waist.

"Kaoru, I'm done in the bath" he ran a second towel through his hair as he looked at Kaoru, as though waiting for a response.

Kaoru bit back a sigh, he didn't want him to know, not about his uneasiness, nor about the awful thoughts he was having while staring at his brother's body. Not that it mattered; it wasn't as though the two of them hadn't ever played out the 'brotherly love' act at home. They had. After all, they were at that age, they did get curious, and there was no one else there to teach them about these things, they only had each other to rely on. They had touched and they had fondled, they had both cum together, but they'd never gone all the way. They were still brothers, they were still men, and going any further than what they had would be awkward, wouldn't it? Still, it hurt. He wasn't sure how to describe the feelings. All he knew was that he didn't want to let go of Hikaru. His chest hurt when he saw Hikaru getting along so well with Haruhi. And as the image he had of himself and Hikaru 'playing' together in bed, was switched with an image of Hikaru and Haruhi, he felt like vomiting.

Pushing himself up slightly from his position on the bed, he looked up to his brother, smiling, "I don't really feel like it, I'll just take one in the morning". He watched, his smile slowly disappearing as he looked into Hikaru's eyes; they looked so serious.

Giving a sort of grunt, Hikaru plopped down on the large bed next to his twin, "What's wrong, Kaoru?" He looked the other man in the eye; a compassionate and worried look crossing over his features.

"What are you talking about?" Kaoru laughed, clasping a friendly hand on Hikaru's shoulder, "There's nothing wrong. You're just thinking too much. Be careful, we both know you're not very smart, Hikaru. You'll hurt your brain." He grinned like a cat as he gave a playful nudge to the shoulder he'd grabbed.

Hikaru's lips thinned and his brow wrinkled, "Kaoru!" he snarled as he grabbed the hand on his shoulder, gripping tightly as he spoke, "I thought I told you not to lie to me like that anymore!"

The younger boy gasped as he looked into his brother's narrowed, angry eyes. It wasn't as though he'd forgotten. He remembered. He remembered everything Hikaru said to him.

It was while their mom was using Haruhi as a model for her clothing line, Tamaki had be working at Misuzu's and had received sweets as payment, along with the rest of the sweets was a tray of cookies, the cherry kind were Hikaru's and Kaoru's favorite. Hunny had eaten them all, but one.

After exclaiming that he would save it for Hikaru, Haruhi told him, "Then I guess you know your answer. The other day you were wondering what you would do if you and Hikaru liked the same thing. You're so kind…you'd go without for Hikaru. But…I'm not sure that would make Hikaru happy". What she said had been true. She knew them both in a way that was rather hard for Kaoru to accept. Of course, he was happy that there was someone who understood, but he was afraid of losing Hikaru. Even so, all he'd ever wished for was Hikaru's happiness. It's still all he wishes for.

As he remembered the past, his eyes turned forlorn, "Is that cookie from Misuzu? I love the cherry ones!!" he recalled Hikaru saying, he remembered every detail.

"Yep! It's the last one! I pried it away from Hunny. Here." He remembered everything. Even his own happiness at how excited Hikaru had seemed over a simple cookie.

After uttering a 'thanks', Hikaru had looked at him momentarily before asking, "Where's yours?"

Of course, because Kaoru wished for Hikaru's happiness, just as Haruhi had said, he gave it up for him, "I already had one". It shouldn't have come as a surprise that Hikaru had seen through him.

"Dummy. I know when you're lying. Take half" he shoved half of the cookie into Kaoru's mouth as he continued, "Why'd you lie? I'll never forgive you if you lie to me like that again." Even though, it shouldn't have been a surprise, but somehow, he felt shocked.

"Kaoru," hearing his name jogged him out of his memories and he looked up to Hikaru whose face was no longer angry, but was once again torn with a look of worry, "seriously, what's wrong? Don't lie to me anymore, you know I hate it". He sighed slightly as he felt Hikaru's arm wrap around his frame, gently trying to comfort him, despite not knowing the reasons behind his quandary.

It wasn't as though he wanted to lie to him, it wasn't as though he wanted to brood over everything by himself, but what was he supposed to say? I get jealous seeing you with Haruhi? I want to keep you to myself? I don't want you to need anyone else but me? There was no way he could say any of that. He wasn't that selfish. Or rather, he didn't have that much confidence in himself. That he could make Hikaru happy, that he could be good enough to monopolize him, he didn't think that highly of himself. Maybe if Hikaru had never met Haruhi, then it would be possible, but not anymore. He clenched his teeth as he continued with his silence. He didn't know how to answer. Anything he said would be a lie, "Hikaru, just forget it," he bowed his head, hiding his face as best he could as he lightly tried to push away from the embrace, "just this once, let it go".

Hikaru sighed, he hated it when his brother was depressed, but even more than that, he hated not being able to do anything about it. Kaoru wouldn't tell him anything, was he really that unreliable? Kaoru had been acting so strangely as of late. He didn't even seem to care much when they were put on different teams for the sports festival. "Kaoru…" he didn't want to be separated from Kaoru. It hurt him that he was being avoided like this. It never used to be this way when they were younger. Kaoru was all he had ever really had, the only one that really understood him, the only one that he could talk to about absolutely anything, and he was the only one that would in return tell him everything; but, it was different now. He was being told nothing, even though it was clearly important, it hurt. Forcefully, he pulled his younger brother back into the embrace, latching his arms tightly around him.

Kaoru gasped as he suddenly found himself smashed up against Hikaru's chest, "Hi-Hikaru!?" he pushed against the other body, trying to free himself, slightly shocked at the rather desperate gaze reflecting in Hikaru's eyes as he felt lips press against his, "nhm…" his left hand pressed roughly against Hikaru's right shoulder, while his right pushed against the other's still damp chest, slipping slightly as he tried to wriggle free of his brother's hold. Jerking his head to the side, he broke the kiss, throwing an irritated look he tried to voice his displeasure, "Hikaru, knock it --!" he was cut off as he was once again devoured, this time a wet tongue slipping in between his teeth.

His eyes glazed slightly, becoming half lidded as he continued to half heartedly resist, his mind arguing with itself over the situation. He knew he would lose Hikaru. He knew that Hikaru had feelings for Haruhi, and that it was only a matter of time before he became a third wheel. He hated thinking about it…but, he could never lose all of Hikaru. They were brothers, after all, he would always have a part of Hikaru and Hikaru would always have a part of him. Their bond wasn't something that could be severed. It could only be weakened, but it could never disappear. 'If I can have even just a little bit more than I do now, then it should be good enough for me', he thought to himself. If Hikaru was happy, then nothing else mattered. All he needed was this, a place in Hikaru's heart, even if he didn't have it all, as long as he had a piece of it, then it would be enough.

With this thought he gave up his struggle and moaned into Hikaru's mouth, his once insistent arms now held onto his brother lovingly as their tongues met and rubbed seductively against each other.

Guiding Kaoru back down against the mattress, Hikaru delighted in Kaoru's new found submissiveness. Letting his hands roam underneath Kaoru's shirt, his fingers seemed to flutter over the skin and his left the other's mouth, trailing over his jaw and down his neck, stopping momentarily to remove the article of clothing before continuing down his frame. Licking a wet trail from his collar bone to one of his nipples, Hikaru nibbled lightly, eliciting a groan from the body beneath him. Smirking, his hands travelled lower, removing the belt and unbuttoning the other boy's pants, he could hear his name being uttered with labored breath, egging him on as slid his hands into Kaoru's boxers and began to grip and play with his length.

Kaoru felt his body quiver as his hips thrust upward. He panted softly as he wrapped his arms around Hikaru's shoulders, scratching lightly into his bare back.

Moving from his position at Kaoru's chest, he placed his hands on either side of bed by Kaoru's hips and pushed himself up; taking note of a rather displeased look from his brother he grinned and kissed him lightly before removing the rest of his clothes. "Kaoru…" he practically sneered as he stared indecently at the other man's crotch, "it's so wet, just think of how the girls would react if they saw you like this," even though he'd said that, he wanted to be the only one to see Kaoru like this. He leaned forward, teasing the tip with his tongue before taking it in his mouth. He could feel hands moving from his shoulders to the back of his head, clutching at his hair and pushing him further down, running his along the bottom of the length he sucked hard; his already stiff member growing more rigid as Kaoru moaned his name. As he continued his ministrations, he curiously brought up a hand to Kaoru's entrance, toying with it slightly before inserting a finger, stretching him.

They had never gone this far before, they had played and they had gotten each other off, but this was the first time it was escalating this far. Kaoru groaned as another digit went inside of him, "Hikaru". As long as it was Hikaru, he didn't mind. It just meant that he would have more of his heart afterwards; since, he would be Hikaru's 'first' it was only natural.

He wasn't sure how long it'd been since they started, to be honest, he didn't really care. All that mattered was Kaoru, he wanted him. He had never really considered it before, sure he'd been curious, but he always felt as though that would just be going too far. Right now, though, he just didn't care. Kaoru was moaning, Kaoru was calling out his name in that seductive voice, he didn't seem to mind, so what harm was there in going all the way? Sliding his fingers out of him, Hikaru brought his head up and glanced at Kaoru with a gaze mixed with seriousness and concern, "Kaoru…I want to do it, can I?"

He could only nod to his twin's request, his face felt flushed and he found it more difficult to speak than what he would have ever anticipated.

As Hikaru clasped his hands around each of his brother's thighs he pushed them along with the rest of his body until they were spread appropriately and the knees connected to them nearly touched their owner's chest. The towel that had been loosely tied around his waist was now slowly falling to the floor, leaving him just as naked as Kaoru was. His cock rested at Kaoru's entrance, barely probing it before he let out a grunt as he pushed in, trying to go slowly and avoid hurting Kaoru.

Despite Hikaru's efforts Kaoru had to bite back a cry as pain shot through his body, he grasped the sheets until his knuckles turned white and closed his eyes shut trying to ignore the throbbing.

Releasing his thighs, Hikaru brushed a hand across his brother's face, "s-sorry, Kaoru, but I don't think…I can stop now." He watched as the quivering form under him nodded. He was glad that Kaoru wasn't asking him to stop. He thrust forward, his hips crashing against Kaoru's, it felt so tight around him, almost like he was being eaten alive, but it felt wonderful all the same.

As he plowed into Kaoru, he used one arm to help support himself as the other groped and fondled his brother's member. He could no longer tell if Kaoru was moaning because it hurt or because it felt good, as he timed the pump of his hand with his thrusts. Hikaru let his tongue glide inside Kaoru's mouth, playing with every inch of it, as though trying to distract him from any pain that might still be present.

Pain or pleasure, he could no longer differentiate between the two as he felt himself coming to his peak, "Hi-Hikaru…I'm…" his muscles contracted and his body wavered, a seductive purr pouring out from between parted lips as his essence spilled over Hikaru's hand and their stomachs.

"Kao-ru!" as the muscles clenched around him he could no longer hold back, crying out his brother's name he came inside of him. No longer having the strength to hold himself up he collapsed onto Kaoru's chest, breathing heavily as his body gradually started to calm down.

The days drew on, but no matter what happened at school, Kaoru could not forget, he would never forget. Hikaru wasn't just his anymore. He hated seeing him suffer, but he would never figure out his feelings on his own. Kaoru was all Hikaru had, so Kaoru would have to be the one to tell him, even if it hurt him to do so. Even if he didn't really want to give him up. "Hikaru, you like Haruhi as a girl. You're probably jealous of Milord". After saying that, he knew Hikaru would come to terms with his feelings, and he regretted saying it. He hid out at Hunny's mansion for a good amount of time. He felt like crawling in a hole and dying, but there was no way to take back what had already been said.

There was only one thing he could do now, and that was to make Hikaru realize his emotions fully, to make Hikaru get serious, and be happy for Hikaru when he and Haruhi finally got together.

Hikaru smiled as he spoke with Kaoru, "You know we talked about adopting Haruhi. That's the best solution," Kaoru's eyes narrowed as Hikaru continued, "that way the three of us will always be together".

He had to do it, to say it, for Hikaru's sake, "Are you completely stupid, Hikaru?" it hurt Kaoru to talk this way to him, but had to be done, if Hikaru were to be happy in the future, then it simply had to be done, "Adopting Haruhi was just a joke. We're not playing house. It'd never happen," an irritated look glossed over his features, venom seemed to drip from each word he spoke, "I'm so fed up with your childishness!!"

"Kaoru…"

The look of shock and hurt on Hikaru's face almost made him stop, but he had to continue, "Besides, would you be happy being a threesome forever? You really want to share Haruhi with me? That's not what I want!"

"Kaoru…?"

"I won't share her with you or Milord!" though, it was really Hikaru he didn't want to share, "especially…if you're willing to just give her up like that! I'll never step aside for you if that's the case!"

What's done is done, what has been said cannot be unsaid, and it was for the best. Now maybe Hikaru would be able to move on…and in time, maybe Kaoru would be able to as well.

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And we're done. Sorry for the angst, but I kind of like it…and it makes it flow better with the actual story, so it seems as though it might have actually happened…even though, it probably didn't, but fan girls can dream, right?

Thanks for reading! :)


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